no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
