I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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