So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
