If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
