Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
