And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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