Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Oh god it's open bar.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
