Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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