I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
