what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
