Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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