Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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