He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
