just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
