Kiss
Puke
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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