this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
