There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
