My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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