i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
