he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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