oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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