woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
PANTIES FOUND
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