well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
