Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
