that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
