Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
