Nicole vs. Life
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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