he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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