Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
