I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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