I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
