I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
