I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Small penises have feelings too.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
