Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
