i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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