Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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