i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
