just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
there is glitter all over my balls
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