So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
