so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
