i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
