I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
