Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
