I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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