He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
