Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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