What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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