is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
