Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
