Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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