I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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